Why do so many people resist being helped?

Have you attempted to offer service to others before and encountered resistance? I know I have!

I wonder if it comes from years of conditioning that accepting service or receiving help makes one appear weak or incapable themselves.

“I’m good,” people often say when encountering attempts to offer them assistance. Interesting. Does that mean receiving assistance is interpreted as being “bad” somehow? If I accept help, did I have a weakness?

It’s the ego that has its defenses up.

And some of it, maybe most of it is for good reason.

Not every offer of assistance is valid.

By defending against assistance, one can protect himself against false attempts to “serve” that would not really benefit him.

So patient persistence is the key here, if you really want to offer help. Be willing to meet their shields and defenses with understanding and patience. This is what allows an opening, if an opening is in order.

No forcing. No coercing. Instead: reasoning, understanding, curiosity.

It reminds me of the cultivation of trust in any relationship.

Trust is not an entitlement. Trust is earned.

So people’s defenses are an opportunity to earn their trust. Trust can sometimes be won through patient persistence and allowing the process the time it needs.

It requires approval for the current moment without pushing for something else, but after accepting what is, inviting forth something new.

Love,

Aaron