The Four Pillars Of Being Fully Alive

The Four Pillars Of Being Fully Alive

I coach my clients in 4 fundamental areas of life or 4 Pillars of being fully ALIVE. Together with my clients we develop personalized strategies for upgrading, enlivening and mastering each of these sectors of their lives. Ultimately, all 4 of these “Pillars” or areas of life operate like 4 legs of a table. When one of them is not strong, the stability of their life will be shaky. When all 4 Pillars are strong, then your life will be stable and full of abundance, joy, fulfillment and peace.

Life Purpose

When you’re living in alignment with your life’s true purpose, everything else in your life flows better. Living in alignment with your life purpose is fuel and energy for the rest of your life.

When you lose touch with your life purpose, the quality of your vitality, wealth and relationships all begin to decline–maybe not right away, but in the long run this will happen unless or until alignment with purpose is restored. Again, life purpose is the fuel that feeds every other area of our lives. Usually a sense of purposeless correlates with depression, feeling lost, feeling lifeless, i.e. less life or less alive.

If you don’t know what your life purpose is then I suggest you decide that your newfound purpose will be figuring out what your purpose is. Spend some time each day alone with a notepad writing down ideas or better yet book some life coaching sessions with me! We’ll get right to it and you’ll be feeling the fire of life again in no time.

Also remember that your definition of your life purpose may shift over time. Just because you decide THIS is my life purpose now doesn’t mean it’s written in stone and you can never change it in the future. It is likely that your definition of your life purpose will evolve with your consciousness over time.

My personal life purpose is to become ever more fully ALIVE and to serve that same desire in others.

What this means to me is to embrace the particular daily practices I have chosen to optimize, enjoy and evolve my life.

I won’t get into what my daily/weekly practices are right now, but suffice it to say that once you have your purpose, practice of your purpose is what must follow. If daily practice of your purpose does not arise, then you are not in touch with your true purpose, so go back to practicing the purpose of questioning what your purpose might be, experimenting purposefully until you find it. That way, you can never be without a purpose!

Vitality

When you have lots of energy and your vitality is strong, then anything seems possible. When your vitality is low, very little seems possible or achievable.

Many people are conditioned to “burn the candle at both ends” or in other words, to burn themselves out. But once you are burned out, then you’ll have to recover, and that can consume a lot of time and energy. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. The key to vitality is to practice it every day as if your life depends on it because your life does depend on it. This includes activities like walking in nature, consistently breathing fresh, clean air (indoor and outdoor), drinking structured, energized, clean water and consuming food which fuels and energizes you instead of inflaming and draining you.

This also includes exercise and recovery (which should more often be mentioned together like this, as one, single phrase), and I include physical activities which have a spiritual and healing dimension as well like Qigong and Yoga, etc.

Vitality is a non-negotiable in life. If you don’t have it, then you don’t have life.

Wealth

Monetary or capital wealth is generated based on the value you exchange with others.

Yes, there are types of wealth other than monetary or capital, for example, spiritual wealth. And while spiritual wealth is the most important type of wealth, capital wealth is an area of utmost concern for most of us living in modern society. When we dial in our relationship and mastery of wealth, everything else in our lives becomes easier.

Money has to do with the root chakra or in Maslow’s hierarchy, with survival needs. Issues at the root are often fraught with emotional charge, and the more we heal and energize this area, because it is foundational, then the rest of the structure of our physiology and life, i.e., the external circumstances of our life function more smoothly. Strong foundation = better chance of an overall strong structure. Without a good foundation, the structure will fail.

When we have plenty of energy (money is a physical representation of energy), capital or other resources or means of exchange to offer in exchange for products and services that enhance our lives, everything in life is easier! Our relationship with wealth and our level of wealth has a lot do with our perceptions and our beliefs around money and around life in general.

In most of the world, people have been heavily conditioned by society to have a negative and stressful relationship with money and resources and to believe that energy is scarce. The truth is that energy is the most abundant thing that exists. Everything is made out of energy, so there is no such thing as a scarcity of energy! However, there are more and less skillful ways of working with the energy and packaging and exchanging value in a way that builds wealth in the long term.

Mastering this “Pillar” of success allows everything else in our lives to work better.

Dating & Relationships

Life is about relationships. And relationships consistently provide some of our best and most challenging opportunities for growth and enjoyment of life.

Some people say that your network is your net worth. This idea reflects how interconnected every “Fully Alive Pillar” is with each of the others. You really can’t have one of the pillars missing since there’s a crucial relationship among all four of them.

What’s the point of life if it’s beautiful but you can’t share it!? Sharing your life with others gives ineffable meaning to life.

So even if you are single and you like it that way, you still have relationships with your family or friends or coworkers or clients, etc.

Some of my clients have been or are currently in a dating phase of their lives. Dating presents its own set of unique challenges and experiences.

When I was in my early and mid-twenties I spent around 1000 nights going out to bars and clubs and other social venues approaching women, practicing cold-approach pick-up. Not only did I train myself with consistent real life experience, I was also constantly watching videos from the most experienced “dating gurus” in the world, reading their articles and books and immersing myself in the world of improving my dating skills. It was very challenging for me and also fun sometimes. I learned a lot about male-female attraction and how to navigate the dating world. I learned a lot about human connection.

Eventually I found my way into long term monogamous relationships (I have a beautiful life partner of almost 5 years now) and I’ve also briefly experimented with polyamory. To further my experience and understanding of general relational dynamics and human connection, I practiced (and eventually facilitated) Authentic Relating. I also practiced Orgasmic Meditation and other advanced relational practices which have given me rare insight into human connection and how to cultivate it.

Of course there is also the platonic as well as the business side of human connection. I’ve always had an intuitive, easy ability to make friends anywhere I’ve gone. The difference with me is that I also know how to explain what I’m doing and how to help people become more magnetic, confident and charismatic and to naturally connect with others more easily, if that is one of their desires. It can take practice for some, but it’s simply a skillset like any other skillset which can be learned and honed. As is often the case, most of it is about unwinding societal conditioning and programming.

Lastly, but not least, I’ve spent my entire working career, over 15 years in direct sales, more than 9 years of which I have been successfully knocking on doors in order to sell residential roofing and other storm damage restoration services. I have a natural knack with people which, again, I have consciously developed over this lifetime, and the beauty is that I can transmit my knowledge of human connection to others in a way that they can understand and implement in order to master their own variety of relationships.

Conclusion

Some people like to divide life into more than just 4 sectors, and I have no problem with that. These are the Pillars or sectors of life that I use and that I work on with my clients. Mastering these Pillars of Success is mastering life itself. There are many different ways to go about doing this, but all of them require curiosity, experimentation and practice.

When we are willing to practice opening ourselves up to life, to embrace life, to face each area of our lives directly and to practice eliminating our futile attempts to run and hide from the intensity of life, life rewards us with abundance, joy, fulfillment and peace.

How about that?

Love,

Aaron

Living Your Purpose While Working A Job

Living Your Purpose While Working A Job

Living your purpose doesn’t require that every aspect of your life is aligned RIGHT NOW with your ultimate future vision for your life.

In fact, if you’re a highly growth-oriented person, which is likely if you’re reading this blog, your vision of your future life will likely always be bigger than your present circumstances!

This doesn’t have to be a contradiction at all. This doesn’t have to stop you from LIVING THE DREAM right now.

So you choose to work, for as long as it takes, a job that your heart is not fully in love with, so that you can pay your bills.

The KEY is that you are making consistent progress toward your goals, toward your vision, toward your dream.

If you are doing the best you can do, then don’t try to whip yourself harder. Recognize what IS the best you can do, and be clear about that with yourself.

Maybe the best you can do is 30-60 minutes a day building your dream life, especially after 8-9 hours at the day-job plus dealing with house chores or errands or whatever. Maybe it’s just a couple hours on the weekend. The point is that whatever it is, congratulations if you spend THAT AMOUNT OF TIME working on YOUR business/YOUR dream because you’re doing the best you can do and you can’t do any better than that!

Giving it your ALL is another key

If you know that you could be doing more, really, then you’ll won’t be fooling yourself.

Look, you’ve got to SLEEP enough (and optimize your sleep so you can possibly need less of it–there are lots of ways to do this, just do a quick internet search for “optimize sleep”). You’ve got to make time for the nutrients of life, which include quality social time, play time, down-time, exercise, eating, etc.

The KEY to giving it your ALL in a sustainable way is not burning yourself out because if you burn yourself out then the quality of your ALL drops substantially, and you make much less progress toward your goals than you would have if you kept more of a slow-and-steady pace to win the race.

But don’t think you can fool your subconscious into thinking you are giving it your all, in other words, doing your very best, if you are not doing so. Your subconscious knows.

And if you are accepting less than your best from yourself, you will KNOW it at some level, and you will feel the internal dissonance or general negative feelings associated with that, however subtle.

When you give your dreams your ALL then you will feel the emotional results of this. You will feel satisfied.

Be patient because Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Be content with putting one foot in front of the other.

Again, figure out if you are doing the best you can do if and if you are then congratulate yourself and keep it up!

After all, if you are doing your best then what more could you be doing? If you are doing your best then you might as well tell yourself that you are living the dream right now because there’s no other dream you could be living at the moment.

A healthy dose of self-acceptance opens up a lot of opportunities for more.

What you appreciate appreciates

When you cultivate a sense of gratitude, contentment, satisfaction, and happiness for your daily life as it is right now, today, even though it’s different from where you want to be, you actually invite better circumstances into your life.

Better circumstances are waiting for those who are already grateful for what they have now and where they are right now.

Your physical, external circumstances are a reflection of your energy and consciousness. And you are the director, the sovereign agent of your energy, to the extent that you are open anyway.

When you take great care of your energy, your life circumstances will reflect that back.

All of us have traumas which distort and block the flow and abundance of life from reaching us.

One of my favorite teachers says that you cannot lose love, you can only lose your awareness of love.

So we need practices which open our awareness back up. “Trauma” is another way of saying “blockage.” We have all created subtle and not so subtle blockages of life which may not be serving our best interests anymore.

A good embodiment meditation practice, a good qigong practice, breathwork, psychedelics or a skilled coach can help you let go of blockages.

Ideally, you implement all of the above and then some!

A good Network Spinal Analysis Chiropractor can also do wonders for helping you release the tension stored in the tissues of your body.

There are many ways to open up the flow of life (which occurs first in the body) and to release blockages to awareness, receptivity, abundance and joy.

Adopt (a) quality practice(s), patiently and consistently, and know that you will reap the rewards of your practice.

Life itself is a practice, so practice living your purpose, living the dream. No matter what your current circumstances may be, just do your best.

Love,

Aaron

P.S. Sometimes it is immensely helpful to work with a skilled and experienced life coach such as myself to get personalized clarity on what your purpose is and how to “do your best” on a consistent basis, so that you can feel the full satisfaction that comes from this. If you or someone you know might like to massively upgrade their Vitality, align more fully with their Life Purpose or experience better results with Dating or Relationships, send them here!